We have some things to talk about. Very serious things.
You have hurt me and my family for far too long. You have brutally attacked far to many members of my family and have struck fear into my family members who have been blessed with avoiding cancer (so far).
First, you attacked my great grandmother (Grandmother) with breast cancer. She is one of the strongest people I know and she toughed it out and lived.
You've also assaulted my other great grandmother (Grams) with cancer of the colon. Again, you failed. Both my great grandmothers are alive and well.
Not to long ago (three or four years ago?), you attacked my grandmother (Nana) with breast cancer. After long months of chemo and radiation, she too lived (and her hair is coming back in).
You also got to my childhood best friend, my rabbit Honey, with cancer of the uterus. She, however, didn't make it. You killed my best friend.
Two weeks ago today, we discovered you had also attacked my best friend, my bed-hog, my snuggle-bunny, my Scottie dog, Hamish. We had no idea you were hiding in his stomach until it was too late. You killed another best friend.
Do you know how hard it is to remember these things and type them out? It's brutal. I have cried so many tears both very recently and in the past over my best friends and my family. As a matter of fact, I'm crying now. The other day, I found a something-of-mine that smelled like him (generally, not a pleasant smell, but it was a good smell this time) and I cried.
You have nearly killed three of my heros and did actually kill two of my best friends. How many of my family members have you instilled with fear of you? I don't know. I know I'm afraid of you. I know I'm afraid of my other dog, my other best friend, Havie, catching you. Very afraid. I'm going to treasure every second with her.
You know what I'm also afraid of? Going home. I have only heard that my Hamish is gone. I haven't seen it. I haven't felt it. I am afraid of going home and realizing he actually is gone and losing it all over again.
"To Hate, V. :To hold in very strong dislike; to detest; to bear malice to. The opposite of to love. (OED)." I hate you, Cancer. I hate you with all of my being.
I've had enough with you.
No love at all,
Margie
Hamish is the sleeping one. Grandmother and Nana
If we're friends on FaceBook or you follow me on Instagram, you're seen this one before. Hamish is the one on my tummy on the upper left. Such a love. I will miss him so much. I barely remember life without him (I was only about 6 when my parents brought him home--SURPRISE!!!--that was a good day) and it's gunna be hard to be without him.
Ran across this today....
ReplyDelete"Cancer, far from being a clandestine foe, is in fact berserk with the malicious exuberance of killing. The disease pursues a continuous, uninhibited, circumferential, barn burning expedition of destructiveness, in which it heeds no rules, follows no commands, and explodes all resistance in a homicidal riot of devastation. Its cells behave like the members of a barbarian horde run amok - leaderless and undirected, but with single-minded purpose: to plunder everything within reach.
"Not enough that a rapidly growing cancer may so infiltrate a solid organ like the liver or kidney that insufficient tissue remains to perform the organ's functions effectively; not enough that it may obstruct a hollow structure like the intestinal tract and make adequate nourishment impossible; not enough that even a small mass of it can destroy a vital center without which life functions cannot go on, as some brain tumors do; not enough that it erodes small blood vessels or ulcerates sufficiently to result gradually in severe anemia, as it often does in the stomach or colon; not enough that its very bulk sometimes interferes with the drainage of bacteria-laden effluents and induces pneumonia and respiratory insufficiency, which are common causes of death in lung cancer; not enough that a malignancy has several ways by which it can starve its host into malnutrition - a cancer has still other ways to kill. Those just mentioned refer, after all, only to potentially lethal consequences of encroachment by the primary tumor itself, without its ever having left the organ where it first arose. But it has an additional way of killing that takes it out of the category of localized disease and permits it to attach a wide assortment of tissues far from its origin. That mechanism has been given the name "metastasis".
The bible says there someday their will be "no more tears." Can't wait. Uncle Walt